Tuesday night, President Donald J. Trump took over the airwaves, demanding everyone listen as he explained why a partial government that doesn’t pay 800,000 of its employees is better than a fully working one that doesn’t shell out over $5 billion dollars for a war intended to stop terrorists who are mostly coming through airports anyway. Before it happened, his national address inspired boycotts and an amusing alternative from the woman who reluctantly helped him commit adultery on the First Lady.
Few were expecting anything but more of the same — more fear-mongering, more false and misleading claims, more taunting of those who stand in his way with their facts and reasoned arguments. But surely everyone was anticipating something, anything new — a fresh piece of intel, a new angle on an old campaign trail punching bag, maybe some old-timey brimstone and hellfire.
Alas, it was not to be. Trump was on his best behavior, so to speak. Which is to say boring — sticking firmly to a script clearly written by someone else, all while trying hard not to sniff too much and make it too obvious he’s not a huge fan of people of color.
There wasn’t much one could do but watch and maybe cry at how this partial shutdown is definitely not ending any time soon. There wasn’t even much to retort that hadn’t been retorted aplenty already. So, in lieu of any good new material, people made jokes.
Some brave soul ventured over to Fox News to see what was going on there.
Others laid out some truth.
Meanwhile, Stormy Daniels did what she promised she would: do her laundry in her undergarments while broadcasting it on Instagram.
Like Stormy, Sarah Silverman refrained from watching as well.
Meanwhile, Merriam-Webster, known for their subtly subtweeting social media expert, dropped this two minutes before Trump when on air.
And of course, Megan Amran did what she always does, only better timed than usual.
Unfortunately for anyone who hoped Trump might take an L on Tuesday night, the Democrats didn’t do much better.